I have been taught, what I own, — I dispose, what I don't own, — I can't dispose.
What if I need to dispose? What if I don't need to dispose?
Property gives me the right to freely dispose?
The blissful belief of ownership, achievement, satisfaction of disposing what money made me believe I own,
– reassuring my self ego in the belief that I am the master of my belongings’ destiny?
The fantasied creation has not been shaped to serve my own hunger and pleasure.
My guilt lies in the inability to arise. I am not – conscious.
My unconscious self prides itself of individualistic evil, complies in the guilt of only what my flesh has done.
Need to arise, need to expand, need to free,
— need to understand, need to open,
— need to disconnect from the fantasy that I only belong to the group of atoms that form my body.
Red in purple: to be acknowledged.
My chemical balance dysfunctions trying to, adapt to, an unnatural blued frame.
I am, — slowly, becoming allergic,
My cells are muting, rejecting their essential nature.
I dispose and obey, — I surrender still believing that comfort is the game.